Funny

1. Husband store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store
operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor,
or may choose to go up to the next floor,
but you cannot go back down except to exitthe building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the firstfloor the sign on the door
reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Lookingand Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims,
"I can hardly stand it!"Still,
she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Helpwith Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay,
but she goes to the sixth floor and the Signreads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor.
This floor existssolely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband store

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2 - The problem with GUYS !

Men Are Hard To Please

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is a GENTLEMAN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not

true.......

but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of

the tree.

The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they're

afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the

rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but

easy.

So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong

with them, when in reality, they are amazing.

That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right

boy, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple,

will come someday...

***************************************************************

3-The sister of my gf

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,

and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way,

my friends encouraged me.. My girlfriend?

She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed.

That one thing was her irresistible younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age and simply beautiful.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon was to be married,

and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome

and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married

and committed my life to her sister. I just could not believe my ears.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said,I'm going upstairs to my bedroom,

and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,

then turned and went straight to the front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he Hugged me and said,

"We are very happy that you have passed our little test.

We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter........ Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in the car and not in your pocket hahaha